Tag Archives: Women

My Decision To Have A Natural Birth, Hypno Style.

4 Sep

In making the decision to have give birth to my second child naturally, I was met with more negativity than support. I assumed my family and friends would commend me for at least being brave enough to try, not to mention embracing my body’s natural ability instead of facing the inevitable D-day with fear and trying anything to run from the pain. But, most people either spat out some sarcastic remark, or deemed me crazy.

When this decision was first made, all I felt was the absolute desire to make myself do this. But as I dove deeper into it (like I do with anything I decide, I become obsessed), I realized how ridiculous us women are nowadays. I mean, our bodies were MADE to give birth. It knows what it’s doing. Yes, there are certain circumstances when things arise and medical intervention is needed. But, society has conditioned us to believe that every birth is a medical emergency and is in need of assistance. If you really think about birth these days, most women’s birth experiences are based on convenience. Convenience for them to not experience pain, convenience for the whole thing to get over and done with as soon as possible for the doctors and nurses to move onto the next patient. It’s just a “let’s get it over with” type of thing….just like everything else in this day and age. Instead of the assumption us women will be walking in there, giving birth the way God intended and coming out victorious, they assume we’ll get whatever drugs they recommend, be as easy and simple as we can, and get the hell out of there. You actually have to request to have a natural birth without them constantly trying to coax you into just getting the damn epidural. And anything more natural (delayed cord cutting, not receiving pitocin, self directed pushing, delivering placenta on your own without them tugging or injecting you with more pitocin, self hydrating, moving about while in labor), all come with having to talk them into it unless your medical staff happens to be kind and understanding. But it really depends on the hospital’s rules and regulations. All these things are better for you, your baby and your labor progression.

Honestly, women who opted for home births were nuts to me. When I had my first daughter I knew nothing about giving birth. I went in there, was given a drug by choice of my nurse to basically sedate me, then once I was aware of what was going on, I was getting an epidural. Everything that happened that night, just happened. Nothing by my asking. I was strapped down, poked with an IV, told I wasn’t in real labor, given unknown drugs, told when to push, told to allow my baby to receive certain vaccinations, told my baby had to be poked too many times in her poor little foot at multiple locations, so on and so forth. I didn’t know I had choices. I was young, naive, and an easy in and out for them.

With this pregnancy I am much more aware of my choices, what should and shouldn’t happen, risks, and the pure nonsense that goes on with the medical system trying to control EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that passes through. 

I know there are GOOD doctors and nurses who really do care for the patients and their choices for a special birth. This is in no way to be against anyone or everyone in the medical field. I understand they want to get in and out of there and that they have a lot of patients to care for, so they can’t give everyone exactly what they want. But, it is not right for us women to be bullied or afraid to state what we want for OUR births of OUR children. 

I’ve been doing a lot of research about how to properly write up a birth plan. And every site and/or article I’ve read on the subject, was mostly based on how to write it in a way to not “offend” the medical staff, or to not come off as “demanding” or “inflexible“. Frankly, that offends me!

Okay….I understand the need to be flexible because sometimes, things do go wrong and interventions are needed and your plan needs to be changed. I get it. You don’t know how things will play out. But the fact that I have to tip-toe around the medical staff to have the birth that I wish to have, is just plain ridiculous. Why not just try to give a women the experience she would like as long as she and baby are healthy? They even say not to get too in detail because it might not even get read! 

First of all, why in the world would you be a nurse or doctor if your patients are an inconvenience to you and you would just prefer to do things the fastest, easiest way even if it isn’t the best way?? If I chose to devote my life (plus tons of money on schooling) to be a doctor, especially one that gets to be involved in the most important moments of a person’s life, I would want to do what was best for my patients and try my best to attend to their wishes.

This is what opened my eyes to how smart home birthers really are. They don’t have to deal with random nurses being mean to them or trying to jump through hoops to just deliver their baby the way they choose. If I ever have another child, I will most definitely be having a home birth.

Okay….You get my point…too much ridiculousness.

So, yes, I have decided to give birth naturally, no drugs. Don’t even offer them. But, I’m not a complete idiot who thinks I can just walk in there and “handle” the pain cause I’m no whimp (I’m not a whimp…but I’m not stupid either). I’ve done a lot of research on giving birth and the best techniques to make things easier. When I first came across Hypnobirthing, I didn’t even want to look into it. I assumed it was something like a creepy creeperton standing over you with a pocket watch, sending you into a deep sleep. But then I saw the numerous incredible videos of women giving birth using Hypnobirthing techniques, without drugs, and having calm, happy birth experiences. I was shocked that they can be popping out babies with hardly a grunt. 

My idea of a natural birth was what I had always seen on TV or movies. You know, knees to your ears, screaming, purple faced pushing, threatening murder, etc. But these women were calm, controlled and happy. I thought, “What the hell is this!?“.

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More research….more and more research, and I am IN LOVE with the entire idea of Hypnobirthing. If you don’t know about Hypnobirthing, just read something about it. Their whole concept is about erasing the implanted fears we have of giving birth and replacing them with joy, excitement, relaxation and trust. Why have we stopped trusting our bodies to know what it’s doing? Giving birth is one of the most natural things are bodies do, and we are so afraid of it. 

 

In Hypnobirthing, you are taught to trust your body and it’s ability. To not fear giving birth and instead, embrace it. Not only that, but it teaches you a form of self hypnosis. Sounds creepy, I know. But really this is something most of us experience on a regular basis. Get sucked into a book or movie and lose track of time? Daydreaming and feel like you momentarily checked out of your life? What about that relaxing moment right before you fall asleep when your body is limp and you feel so comfortable? That is all the level of hypnosis it teaches you to put yourself into whenever you choose. 

The point of it? When you are completely relaxed your body is able to progress in birth quickly and comfortably. When we’re afraid and try to “handle” pain, we tense up. Our body goes into fight or flight mode. Instead of working with the birthing process, it slows it down and makes it MORE painful. Just in the talent of being able to relax ourselves on cue during birth can make everything smoother, stress-free, and even comfortable.

And I know what you’re thinking, because I thought about it too. Will I be totally checked out during my entire birth if I’m in hypnosis? No. Yeah, some people get so relaxed they fall asleep between contractions or what the Hypnobirthing scene calls “surges” or “waves“. But you are awake, and alert. There is even a type of self hypnosis called ‘eyes open hypnosis’. Which allows you to enter this mode of relaxation, all while being wide awake, walking around, even talking. I assume it would take quite a bit of practice, but why wouldn’t you want that ability? In Hypnobabies (a type/brand of hypnobirthing), they teach a self hypnosis anesthesia in which you use to feel no pain. Yes, sounds far fetched and not every woman is able to achieve it, but many have reported pain-free births. CRAZY! 

I’m not expecting a pain-free birth, but I can tell you I practice the Hypnobirthing relaxation techniques and listen to the “affirmations” (recorded positive suggestions for you to listen to while you’re in this relaxation, to sink into your subconscious, ridding your mind of fear and worry and filling it with confidence and joy), everyday! I’ve been practicing only a week and already feel so much more confident and welcoming of birth. Even if I don’t have a pain-free experience, I know just the breathing techniques and positivity will help get me through the toughest moments in giving birth to my baby. 

It’s not just for natural birth, either. It teaches you to welcome any turns your birth may take, calmly and confidently. Plus, it’s great for relaxing when you’re huge and pregnant and can’t sleep at night. 

Obviously, We’ll have to wait and see how things play out after I use this in giving birth. But I’m sure I’ll have only good things to report. 🙂 

By the way….31WEEKS AND 2 DAYS!!! Yep…59 days to go. WHOA.

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Did you have a natural birth? Did you use Hypnobirthing or any other birthing technique??

Click HERE to read awesome Hypnobirthing testimonials! Or HERE!

Winging it.

2 Mar

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I love this. I love it because it’s true. All of us moms try really hard to hold it together and exude a sense of “I know what I’m doing“- but let’s be real, we don’t. Not one of us knows the secret to being the perfect parent. Honestly, I don’t think there is one. We all just do what we feel is right.

Although my intentions are always good and I want the best for my daughter, I’m constantly asking myself if I’m doing it all wrong. I know when she surprised me with her few small cavities, I felt like a complete, utter failure. What kind of mother doesn’t notice her two year old has cavities!? Especially a mother who has nightmares of rotting teeth! I felt so horrible. I know if I had any idea her teeth were so sensitive I wouldn’t have ever allowed juice or the candies she was always receiving from her Aunts and Grandparents. Now, we brush her teeth everyday, and floss. Well, as long as this forgetful mommy brain remembers. But I still feel guilty. Like I can’t ever make up for it.

Around every corner is another seemed failure or anxiety of not measuring up to the “perfect mother”. For some reason I’m always feeling like if I can’t juggle as many children as I can handle, a job, chores and cooking, then I’m not a real woman. How ridiculous is that!? Society has implanted into our minds that because women marched for our rights to do it all, that we must do it all to be real, full women. Maybe it’s society’s way of getting back at us, silently and lightly jabbing us with our own sword until one day we realize it’s making us sore. We can’t do it all. It’s just the way it is. If you’re doing it all, you probably aren’t happy. I wish I could be a happy homemaker, doing chores, cooking homemade meals everyday with food fresh from my garden. And my children where clothes I’ve sewn myself. My husband would work hard and be very happy that his wife is perfect and he always has a meal hot and ready. And it wouldn’t hurt for me to be a successful writer as well.

That’s not going to happen. I can’t even keep a poinsettia alive. If I’m having a garden it’d be one of cactus. I can’t sew to save my life. I love to cook, but I’m constantly screwing up whatever I’m trying to make. It never looks like the recipes on Pinterest. I’ll do chores when they need to be done, except for dishes, I’ll probably drag those out for a couple days. If I ever have a husband, I’m sure he’d be damn well capable of getting his own dinner and he’d have to deal with me not being perfect cause I’d bust his lip if he had anything to say about it. As for the successful writer thing, yeah…I wish that one was real. But my point is, I’m not going to be a perfect woman or mother.

I’m not always going to feel like doing crafts with my toddler or playing tickle fight or watching 72 episodes of Dora. But I love my daughter to no end and will always do what’s best for her. I know it’s hard to be a mom and not really know which end is up, but I keep going and keep in mind that my intentions are to raise a good person who does right and does good. I can’t obsess over “will she rebel in her teen years because I don’t let her have candy?”, “Is she going to have issues because I laugh when she throws a fit?”

I’m not always going to be in a good mood. I’m going to snap at her from time to time, I’m going to get take-out when I don’t feel like cooking, I’m always going to wear skulls and listen to old school Rock and Punk, and I’ll most likely have blue hair again. She’ll probably be embarrassed of me at some point and she’ll probably think she hates me at some point, too. But that wont make me a bad mother or mean that I did it all wrong. All We can do is try our best to do what’s best. And love our children like no other, and let them know it. Other than that, unless there really is a secret to being the perfect parent, we just gotta wing it.

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