How I’ve Decided to Handle Judgmental People Who Stick Their Nose Where it Doesn’t Belong.

Fact of life: You will be judged and people will always have something to say about your choices and how you live your life.

Everyone encounters this in their life. Those certain people who always have two cents  ten cents to throw at you concerning your choices and your life. They treat you like some stupid child who couldn’t possibly know how to live your own life and you must hear what they have to say because their opinion in just so important. You may even be this person. If you are one of these people, I don’t know what to say to you because I cannot relate. I try very hard to avoid judging people for any reason. If it doesn’t concern me or the safety of a person, I try to keep my mouth shut and stay out of it. But, that doesn’t stop other people from prying their way into my business.

When you have to deal with a person or people like this regularly, it can be exhausting, and discouraging. You find yourself worried about what this person will think and eventually start hiding things from them to avoid hearing their lectures. How do you deal with a person like this? It’s not like you can just tell them to shut up and stay out of your business, because people with this mentality will just scold you for your backbone and accuse you of disrespect and play the “I was just trying to help” card. I have multiple people in my life who fit this exact characteristic. And I can tell you first hand, it’s very draining. I spent many years hiding who I am just to avoid being judged and made to feel bad about myself. Now that I’m older and have a child of my own to be an example for, I can no longer live my life that way. I’ve decided to be who I am and not care what anyone thinks. Easier said than done.

Even though I don’t want to pretend and hide things, I find myself doing it from time to time with certain people. Now, if these people where just random  acquaintances I wouldn’t care at all. But they happen to be family. And when you have these kind of people in your family you struggle between loving them and hating them, but you can’t get rid of them! You don’t want to hate family. But sometimes they make it so difficult to enjoy them.

For me, I was blessed with an amazing Mother who has always been supportive of me no matter how many mistakes I have made. Which is a miracle, considering her own Mother is the judgmental, nosy, critic. She’s not the only one in our family, but the one that happens to live closest.

I see on a regular basis the damage it has done to my Mom to have a Mother like her’s and I am so glad she was able to break the chain and not raise us the same way. Which in turn, relieved us of raising our children that way as well. But, we all still have to deal with my …..difficult grandmother.

I recently found out some news that will change my families life. It was a surprise, but we are positive and optimistic about it. Excited even. Really trusting God to take care of the bumps in the road so we can enjoy this blessing. I’ve learned, through a whole life of anxiety, that worry and stress does not help anything at all. In fact all it does is ruin the journey. So, I’m staying calm and positive about the situation and so is the rest of my family. However, there is a family member we haven’t told. And to be frank, I don’t want to tell. For I know when I do, it will be an ear full of lectures and glares of disappointment. Negativity, negativity, negativity. And I decided long ago I will no longer accept negative people or their poison in my life. Basically, If you can’t support me through my life, hard times and good, then I do not want you in my life. Simple as that.

It’s hard to say to someone. Especially a family member. But it has come down to that. I’m putting my family’s happiness ahead of others, as selfish as it may be. And to anyone who has anything negative to spew into our life, I say goodbye. I’ve learned how much time negativity wastes. And I never want to waste another second with it. I want to be happy with what we’re given. I want to enjoy my life, my family, the journey. And I’m not going to let other people steal it from us anymore. And that’s that!

Do you have any advice for not letting negativity and judgment get to you?