Tag Archives: Children
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Motherhood.

23 May

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Punk Rock Is Not A Crime.

4 Mar

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Two Gifts We Should Give Our Children.

22 Feb

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Categorizing Our Children?

21 Feb

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When I first came across this on Pinterest, my first thought was “Well, lets see what Rayne would be considered“, but after reading through it, I started feeling like a pretty rotten parent. My daughter doesn’t “fit” into some category. There isn’t some secret formula to raising her and meeting her needs. Not one that anyone else can teach me at least. I really got to thinking about this and the more I thought, the angrier I got. Society is constantly putting this idea into our heads that our children (and ourselves) are in these categories, their of certain groups, types, and there are certain secrets to handling them and raising them correctly. Basically feeding us the idea that our children are of products, and fit into one of a small number of divisions. And in a larger picture, creating the world we live in that divides us all into ranks, and classes.

I’ve always been vigorously against societies standards and it’s way of controlling us all with it’s “ranks” (that must be the punk rock in me). I hate the idea of conforming and giving into what they predict I will be and where I’ll go in my life. And I certainly never want my daughter to feel subjected by it. I was ashamed that my first reaction was to actually read this. I know my daughter is more than one “type”. She’s not some commodity to be used by society to it’s advantage. She is a bright, determined, caring, fun, creative, hilarious child who has a bright future in whatever SHE DECIDES to become. No book, specialist, or easy tips on raising her, will change the fact that she is a complete original. A unique human being with the whole world and every possibility in her grasp. I’ll never let her believe other wise. And neither should you! Don’t buy into this categorizing and placement and ranking. You are one in 7 billion. There is not another YOU and there never will be.

Don’t Talk To My Kid Like That!

16 Feb

One of the first things I noticed as a mother was how overwhelmingly protective I am over my daughter. From the moment she was born,  I found myself damn near catching flame at anyone who touched her or looked sideways at her. I specifically remember being so angry at the floods of people coming into our hospital room, taking turns holding my new baby, without asking permission. After everyone left, I just sat and cried because I was so engulfed by my anger. As she has grown, I don’t experience that kind of anger very often. But I do find myself ready to bite off any head who dares speak to my child with a disciplinary voice.

Children need discipline, that’s a fact and extremely important. But in my opinion, it is the parent’s responsibility, and their responsibility only. I find it VERY disrespectful to try to enforce discipline with someone’s child. And even more so when someone addresses a behavior with anger and an attitude.

I never EVER use an angry voice with anyone’s child. If the child is in my home and disrespects a rule or Rayne, I nicely explain the correct way to go about things and the rules. But I’ve recently experienced someone snapping, quite immaturely, at my daughter who was in need of a nap and was feeling sensitive. This person is a family member and known to be a difficult person, but that is no excuse for being rude to a toddler.

While this person was giving Rayne and I a ride to her dentist appointment, the sunroof was open, the wind was blowing, and the cars going past echoed a loud rumble through the vehicle. Rayne was very tired and urged someone to close the sunroof. When it wasn’t closed, she started to get upset and ask repeatedly. So, said person closed the sunroof and in a snarky voice, said, “There! What are you going to grip about now?!”. I was incredibly irritated with this response and was surprised that is actually fell out of this “adult’s” mouth. I looked back at Rayne, and smiled while holding onto her leg. That’s when said person added, “I like the sunroof open on sunny days, which isn’t often….but whatever“, Trying to guilt my 2 year old. I turned back to said person and explained that Rayne doesn’t like loud noises and is very tired. I wanted to stab her in the eye with a pencil, but that couldn’t have ended well. I restrained from exploding and lowering myself to her negative, condemning level. Instead I focused on Rayne the entire drive, holding onto her, making her laugh, and making sure she was alright.

It is upsetting to me that adults can speak to children in such ways, and think it’s okay! But I know I did the right thing by controlling my anger and explaining on Rayne’s behalf rather than starting a fight.

Have you had any similar experiences? How did you deal with them??

Daily Bread.

13 Feb

 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. John 16:21

 

Co-Sleeping: Relish in it, or pull the plug?

5 Feb

Books, magazines, websites, other mothers, etc. They all have so many opinions on co-sleeping. A lot of people think it’s dangerous because you might suffocate or squish your baby. But if you’re a mother who’s actually slept in the same bad as your child, you know that your brain is on high alert all night and you’re lucky if you get any real sleep, therefore, you probably aren’t sleeping well enough to let yourself squish or suffocate your baby. Others don’t like it because it promotes so-called dependency. Yet, I’ve been sleeping in the same bed as Rayne since she was born.

First, she slept by my side (leaving a perfectly good crib to waste) until she was 5 months. That’s when I started putting her into her crib every night. She never fell asleep in her crib, I always had to carry her. She ended up being a pretty great sleeper for the most part. There were the occasional nights where she’d wake up and need to lay in bed with me for awhile. But she usually slept in her crib all night. Until the toddler bed came in. At first she loved it and slept all night in it. But that only lasted a few months. She’s had her toddler bed since she was one. Every night she falls asleep in my bed, and I carry her to her toddler bed. And every night she makes her way back into my bed. I’ve witnessed this on a couple occasions. She looks like a zombie, blindly stumbling through the dark until bumping into my bed and making her way in. It doesn’t help that we do share a room. So, every night, I get the knee in the back, the feet in my face, and I usually end up on the edge of the bed while she takes up the rest of it.

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It is uncomfortable, and it does disrupt my sleep. But to be honest, I like having my little girl snuggle up to me. Mostly because I know one day she wont want anything to do with her totally uncool mother. So, foregoing a good night sleep seems worth getting those little cuddle moments from my still tiny girl who needs her mommy. I know, the books and other parents warn of an 8 year old taking rule over their bed. But, I don’t think Rayne even has the personality type to be that old and not want to sleep in her own bed. She’s very independent as it is. In fact, I’m surprised she still likes to sleep with mommy.

So my question is, when is it time to pull the plug on co-sleeping? Do I wait for her to grow out of it? Or do I vow to cut her off after a certain birthday? And do we really need to think about these things or am I just being one of those moms who has to analyze everything? I believe in being simple, living simple, rollin’ with the punches, etc. But I don’t want to in some way damage my daughter’s mental growth or what-have-you, even though I don’t really believe co-sleeping causes a child to be any more needy than they already are. It just goes to show the tough decisions we face as parents with so many different opinions on such things, that all seem legitimate. We’re left wondering and worrying if we’re doing this mommy thing right. It’s ridiculous that society has made us so self-conscious about our parenting choices, and has opened the doors like flood gates for other people to judge us too.

I believe co-sleeping is just fine. I don’t believe that my tot with have dependency issues and I don’t believe I’ll be stuck with a teenager sharing my bed. I believe as mothers, in order to do things “right“, we just have to feel it out and do what we feel is right for our child and us. So, yes, I will continue to welcome Rayne into my bed, whenever she feels the need to climb in. And as far as pulling the plug goes, I’ll feel it out. I’m sure she’ll grow out of it just as I’ve always suspected. And when that day comes, I’ll feel a bit of sadness. But also pride in my daughter who’ll be as independent as she is now (if not more <—scary thought!).

http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/five-benefits-cosleeping/

This site ^ really makes me feel better about the whole idea. And now that I’ve gotten it all off my chest, I will rest easy tonight. Well, as easy as a person can with a foot in her face and a knee in her back.

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